I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
