every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm at about main and main street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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