If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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