you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
