You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
