Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
