I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
do herpes really smell.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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