just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize