Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
