Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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