There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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