is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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