he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it's like iHOP with fire
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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