So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
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he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
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is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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