It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
