It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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