don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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