I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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