my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
