Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
