Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
