There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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