i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
