The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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