There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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