That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
