so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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