If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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