i will never coherently bang her
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
