so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
