I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
