I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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