You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
