so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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