I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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