his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
