Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
