I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
did i just pee glitter
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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