I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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