break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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