considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You pole danced in your parka.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
