Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
did you just send me my own nude
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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