Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize