now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
