Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
