Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Life is so much better after having sex.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
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It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.