I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
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Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
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tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm getting married