she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
