Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.

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(810): i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care. http://tfl.nu/2egt

Replies (20) Good night (790) Bad night (3381)
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(817): View more from Texas

The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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(817): The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen. http://tfl.nu/gj69

Replies (38) Good night (12842) Bad night (1226)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.

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(803): i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move. http://tfl.nu/ml5e

Replies (15) Good night (1515) Bad night (4523)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!

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(228): I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference! http://tfl.nu/5ptk

Replies (50) Good night (10540) Bad night (954)
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(786): View more from Florida

All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"

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(786): All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber" http://tfl.nu/jvct

Replies (49) Good night (9409) Bad night (1257)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.

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(989): Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me. http://tfl.nu/zahg

Replies (14) Good night (9004) Bad night (894)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.

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(603): did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless. http://tfl.nu/v4st

Replies (9) Good night (6023) Bad night (1287)
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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.

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(709): Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/pavi

Replies (16) Good night (1872) Bad night (4044)
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(813): View more from Florida

obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.

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(813): obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary. http://tfl.nu/eqex

Replies (0) Good night (620) Bad night (1337)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.

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(902): I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged. http://tfl.nu/u3dy

Replies (5) Good night (909) Bad night (454)
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(310): View more from California

Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation

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(310): Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation http://tfl.nu/nk1k

Replies (10) Good night (459) Bad night (1037)
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(627): View more from California

some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.

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(627): some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE. http://tfl.nu/adi8

Replies (9) Good night (1903) Bad night (379)
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(313): View more from Michigan

We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to

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(313): We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to http://tfl.nu/22xn

Replies (3) Good night (550) Bad night (295)
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(515): View more from Iowa

We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

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(515): We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it. http://tfl.nu/ayy3

Replies (6) Good night (520) Bad night (234)
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(+66): View more from Thailand

Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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(+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i

Replies (0) Good night (629) Bad night (230)

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