ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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