I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
