you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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