we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
