Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
