its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize