I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
