didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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