They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
