i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
