I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
