Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
