life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
