we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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