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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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