i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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