Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
